Palutena's big surprise!
by WarioMan3K
Summary: After winning a 6-person free-for-all against the other female contenders, Palutena brags about her victory and skills. As a response to this, a mysterious figure appears from out of nowhere to give her the biggest surprise she had ever seen! Hilarity, of course, ensues. ONE-SHOT CROSSOVER FIC


Just the other day, I got a rather humorous screenshot as a reward for getting over 80,000 points in stage 2 of Target Blast, via Super Smash Bros. for Wii U, whilst playing as Palutena. You could say I saw it coming, but...well, let's just say I like to make fun of her sometimes. And so does LovelyTekki, whom I'm writing this story for. I heard something bad happened last night, but I'd probably rather not discuss it here. Instead, I decided my story would be the best way to cheer her up. Beyond all that, I hope you enjoy!

**DISCLAIMER: Super Smash Bros., Kid Icarus and WarioWare Inc. are owned by Nintendo.**

* * *

-Palutena's big surprise!-

Once upon a time, way up in a distant region known as Skyworld, there lived a goddess with her freakishly-long green hair, clad in her white dress and high heels. Her appearance bore a striking resemblance to that of a young woman in her early 20s when converted from the human body, or so the people of Earth theorized. Above all that, they knew her as Palutena, the Goddess of Light. Yes, the very same one who once offered Pit, the angel boy in white who was the captain of her royal guard, the "Power of Flight" just so he could fly...but not anymore these days, as his wings were repaired at the Reverse Spring while Dark Pit (aka. Pittoo) tangled with Pandora in her true form. Ever since Pit lived to defeat Hades mano-a-mano, he had been hanging out with a certain someone who, as a matter of fact, did her part to help restore him and his wings back to normal...albeit much to Palutena's chagrin, having blindly insisted that someone was bad for the angel boy even to the day the 3DS and Wii U versions of Super Smash Bros. were released worldwide on Earth and certain other places.

There existed a tradition, in which tournaments are hosted on a distant planet called Smash World, consisting of numerous arenas with great variety, whenever a Smash Bros. installment got released on a Nintendo console of choice. Every Nintendo star or starlet from different worlds would gather up for a competitive slugfest to see who's the best of them all. A few "third-party" contenders would also join in the fun, assuming they were accepted by the Smash World staff after applying to enter (with permission, of course), which didn't come into effect until _Super Smash Bros. Brawl_ was released on the Wii. The same went for the "Assist Trophies", be they Nintendo character or otherwise. Today, 8-person battles were possible but in order for that to work the staff, supervised by Master Hand and Crazy Hand, added in some arenas big enough to support this many at once, in addition to implementing the option to magically transform said arena into its Omega, or "Final Destination", form. Aside from having up to 8 people, the tournaments were now divided into two separate divisions: For Fun, and For Glory, the latter allowing for only one-on-one matches and restricting all items, as well as allowing only Final Destination and variants as elaborated by Master Hand. Aside from tournaments, team battles were also allowed even in "8-Player Smash."

One day, Palutena was due for a 5-minute free-for-all with Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom, Rosalina and Luma, Lucina, Princess Zelda of Hyrule and the female Wii Fit Trainer, set in her namesake temple with all items on. Unsurprisingly, the Goddess of Light came out on top with Zelda just a few points behind as opposed to the other female contenders. Afterwards, Palutena decided this called for a celebration at an amusement park for those who wish to wind down from the battles and check out all kinds of attractions based on the past Smash Bros. installments, ride the Ferris Wheel, or simply knock down some pins with big plastic balls at a bowling alley known as Smash Lanes. After coming to an agreement on what they could do, Palutena settled with three bowling games in one session, bragging about this one time where she bowled a perfect game of 300 (or 12 strikes in a row), despite Peach's comments about how she's only saying it because she's a goddess, backing it up by adding that at least Rosalina doesn't brag regardless of her own skill or somebody else's. They would meet up later in the evening to kick off their bowling session, all the while Palutena headed back to her temple in Skyworld to get things ready, firstly her bowling shoes.

But little did she know that a mysterious figure, its face concealed with a mask, was watching her the whole time, even after the free-for-all battle was over...

* * *

Later on, Palutena looked in her closet while closing the door to her private quarters in case the Centurions on patrol or taking a break happened to take a peek out of curiosity, took off her high heels and put on her silver bowling shoes. Then she also picked out her sky blue bowling ball with cloud designs, only to notice a few cracks on them. Apparently it had never been the same since the day she tried to cook a "Vegetable Surprise with a side order of Skyworld Soup" prior to an accident which resulted in most of her palace being destroyed in a big bomb-like explosion (courtesy of too much rejuvenator potion that turned the vegetables into monsters).

"Ohh, my trusty Sky Strike bowling ball just isn't the same...well, guess it's off to the little bowling shop just outside the palace I go!" But then she stopped momentarily to think about what she was planning to do. "Wait a minute, since when was there a pro shop like that...then again, things have been awful busy since Smash Bros. 4 was announced. Not to mention Pit's been hanging with that..." The goddess stopped in mid-sentence to take a deep breath. "Ah, much better!"

She took off her bowling shoes to put the heels back on, picked up her ball, and left the palace to visit the pro shop in order to buy a new bowling ball to replace the old, tattered one she had for who knows how long. Just then, she was greeted by what appeared to be a mustachioed fellow in a Centurion getup. He greeted her in a cheerful manner despite his voice being a tad bit...high-pitched, if not any higher than Mario's. "Ahh, welcome, welcome! It's a pleasure to be of service to the famous Palutena, Goddess of Light! Fancy a bowling ball for your very own? Looking for a new one to replace your old ball? I got the best of the best right here! Just pick whatcha want, and we'll discuss how much Hearts it'll cost ya."

"Sure thing!" replied the goddess with a smile. "Wow, that's a lot of bowling balls in all sorts of colors and weird combinations!"

The mustachioed shopkeeper let out a small chuckle. "Not a problem, ma'am! What ya need is a ball that's heavy but good enough for you to handle. After all, the heavier it is, the easier it'll be to bowl a strike. Trust me, what I've got on display right now will guarantee you one heck of a blast, if you catch my drift."

"Hmm...this ball is completely black in color, and it weighs 16 pounds - not that it's too heavy for me anyway because, you know me, I am the Goddess of Light."

"A classic vintage it may represent at first, I'll give ya that. Hey, to be honest with you, it's said to be among the best of the best that money can buy! No bowler should be without the ball I'd like to call Lucky Strike! Yeah yeah, not too original, but sheer power and roundness both count! For you, on the other hand, it's free because, after all, it's your lucky day! All ya gotta do is trade in your old ball to buy the new one at absolutely no charge. No need to be nervous, ma'am!"

"Uh, of course I'm not nervous! I'm just super happy enough to have myself a new ball to show off to the girls at the bowling alley in Smash World."

"Ahh, Smash World, huh? I've heard lotsa good stuff about it! Only got to go there once, though...alrighty, I'll just take the old one with cracks, and voila! The Lucky Strike ball's yours, my friend! Have fun!" Right after Palutena thanked the shopkeeper and went back to her temple to take out her bowling shoes, he stifled a sly chuckle to himself. "Eeeyup, totally gonna guarantee one heck of a blast."

* * *

Fixing up her unnaturally-long green hair at her temple's private quarters, the goddess sang to herself in tune to Pit's victory song, except with her own lyrics.

_Again today I'll go bowling at the alley_  
_The pins fall down 'cause they simply dilly-dally_  
_My trusty bowling ball, comes purifying from up above_  
_Rolling straight at the pins to show them all some love!_

"Ahh, there we go! Hope you're all clean, shiny and ready, Lucky Strike, cuz tonight's my lucky night at Smash Lanes. Pit and Pittoo will be sorry they missed out on how we'll cream the competition. Then again, last I checked they're doing some team battles with Mario and Luigi..." All of a sudden without warning, Palutena's black bowling ball slowly enlarged itself, its three finger holes and number "16" vanishing before her very eyes. In just seconds, the ball became about three to four times as big as it was before, at the very least up to her height if not any bigger than herself.

"Whoa...now that's something I don't see everyday. It's just...just...incredible! My old ball never had this magic ability before! I bet I can put it to good use whether it's picking up tough spares in a split or getting an easy strike." Adding to Palutena's already big enough surprise, the ball also sprouted a brown rope atop itself, stopping short a few centimeters. And finally, a large red "1" materialized out of nowhere up front, the ball's rope generating a big candle with a hissing sound, much like that of a snake's. That's when she realized a little too late, that her new bowling ball was in fact a bomb in disguise, its supposed rope being none other than a fuse already lit. It was the very same big bomb used in the recently-added Target Blast! Normally it would count down from ten seconds at the start of each round in the Stadium event, but in Palutena's case, this was perhaps the most unpleasant surprise she had ever seen.

"...Yipe!" was all she could yelp in a high-pitched tone of voice, as the bomb ticked down from one second, giving her absolutely no time whatsoever to knock it away, much less get out of the palace before it detonated in a mixture of two different explosions combined into one big blast. Half of it was a fiery bomb explosion, with the other half resembling a fireworks display. Thus was the Goddess of Light covered in soot, or in other words a crispy blackish brown, complete with clothing damage on account of her dress and ash face, her hair being messed up in a crazy style, and a cough of black smoke from her mouth. "I want my old bowling ball back, and refurbished." she muttered just before passing out on the floor face-first, her private quarters completely destroyed along with her bowling shoes and wardrobe.

Peeking from outside Palutena's Temple by the window, the shopkeeper stuck out his tongue, chuckled softly to himself once again and skipped along happily back to the supposed bowling pro shop, which was none other than a regular item shop in disguise when transformed by a magic wand he held in his hands, while all the other bowling balls were merely a bunch of bouncy balls in a variety of colors. And finally, the shopkeeper took off his Centurion armor and fake (!) mustache, revealing yet another surprise: he was in fact a she! It was Phosphora, the Lightning Flash (not to mention Pit's girlfriend), all along, as she had indeed been watching Palutena the whole time since the 6-person free-for-all!

"It's guaranteed to be a blast, alright - on you!" The girl stuck out her tongue again and winked tauntingly. "And I got it all recorded live on our digital camera Pit and I bought. So to wrap this up: big bomb from Target Blast, check...an enchanted stash full of bouncy balls bought from a toy store in Skyworld, check...Ashley's wand that I borrowed for just such an occasion, check...and my clever disguise to top it all, double-check! Ha, that'll teach her not to boss my boyfriend around and keep us apart. I think what Pit and I will do is convert that old lady's tattered bowling ball into a thrifty gazing ball for our little garden." Phosphora paused momentarily to stuff the bouncy balls inside the magical gift box, which with its "bottomless pit" incantation to hold as many items as possible with no signs of running out of room. "All set and ready to go!" She held the box with one hand and Palutena's cracked ball with the other, and flew out of the partially-damaged palace in a flash of lightning, intent on showing Pit the video she recorded and its bit with the Goddess of Light singing a song to herself before the inevitable explosion.

But she had something else in mind. "Oh, I know how we can make our day even more exciting!" she blurted to herself. "I'll invite 9-Volt and his friends to come join me and Pit as we make a gazing ball together and decorate our garden with it, then we can play video games, check out some nifty rides in Smash World's amusement park, and even go bowling afterwards! At least I don't brag like that old bag does."

* * *

In a flash, Phosphora teleported herself all the way to Earth and landed just outside 9-Volt's house in Diamond City with a _CRASH!_ feet first. She knocked on the door, prompting the Nintendo-loving kid to answer, still adorable-looking as he always had been since day one. "Hiiiiii, 9-Volt!" she greeted like an energetic schoolgirl with a toothy grin.

"Hi, Phosphora!" said 9-Volt with a fit of laughter, happy to see his lightning-themed guardian angel from Skyworld as they gave each other a big, warm hug for five seconds before letting go. "Whatcha got there?"

"Oh, just a couple souvenirs I wanna show you when we meet up with Pit. Are your friends here with you?"

"No, it's just me today. I had to finish my homework after school, but you sure caught me by surprise! Usually, you'd make quite an entrance whenever I blow my cloud whistle you gave me a while back."

Phosphora blushed, giggling sheepishly as she said, "Guess I got a little too excited after what happened today. It's a long story, but I'll be sure to let you call me the next time we wanna see each other just to be on the safe side. Anyway, Pit and I are gonna decorate our garden together and I was wondering if you'd like to tag along."

"Sure, I'd love to pitch in and help you out! What are we planting or setting there?"

"Actually, we're making a gazing garden ball out of this old and tattered bowling ball I just happened to pick up in Skyworld. Poor thing hadn't been given great care and I felt bad, so I thought why not make it all better by turning it into a decoration. This'll be a secret between you, me and Pit, but it used to belong to Palutena before I taught her a lesson in humility today."

"Really? Has she been trying to keep you and Pit apart like she usually does from time to time again?"

"Eeeyup, and she was also bragging her butt off the whole time even after she won against Peach, Rosalina, Zelda, Lucina and the female Wii Fit Trainer in a free-for-all, thinking she's all great and stuff. Speaking of which, are you staying out of trouble? Nobody picking on you or threatening you lately?"

"Yep," replied 9-Volt with a nod, "of course I'm staying out of trouble and nope, hadn't been any jerk messing with me, let alone Mr. Wario and his brother Waluigi."

"Good!" Phosphora patted his head gingerly and knelt down to his level for a quick kiss to the forehead. "Well, anytime you're ready, just hold my hand and let's go go go!"

Henceforth they held each other's hands, grabbed ahold of their belongings and told 5-Volt where they were going before bidding her farewell and flew out in a lightning flash. "WHEEEEE! I'm flyiiiiing!"

"You ARE flying, silly!"

No sooner than they left when 9-Volt's mom giggled softly. "Phosphora sure is the definition of fun for a guardian angel. I'm glad she's a good person all along when Pit set her free during the Forces of Nature incident."

THE END

(Ending Credits)  
Palutena - ALI HILLIS  
Phosphora - KARI WAHLGREN  
9-Volt - TARA STRONG  
5-Volt - GREY DELISLE

[End Credits]

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And voila! That's one other humorous short fic I had fun writing to expand upon that screenshot of Palutena standing too close to a big bomb in the Target Blast event, at the very least a bit of what you can see in the cover image despite its built-in limit.


End file.
